The Tao of Jesus -- Seeking and Letting Go

I've cited a couple of sources at the header that strike close to home in my search:

• "Those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it." (NRSV, Matthew 16:25)
• "The Tao abides in non-action, yet nothing is left undone." (Tao Te Ching, chapter 37)

While these might seem to have only passing relation, scripture is a funny thing. It says different things to different people. That's not to say that the words are different--unless, of course, you care about different translations--rather, I mean that scripture is a means through which the Holy Spirit speaks to us. The Holy Spirit says different things to each person because (as I've said before) we need different things. But I digress...

In my discernment process, I've made plans. Admittedly, I'm slightly obsessive-compulsive--somewhere between what the Air Force calls "attention to detail" and a control freak. I've been trained to solve problems, to overcome obstacles, and to plan my life. And this is where, I'm afraid, my scientific education and my Air Force training come to odds with the formation of my ministry. Both Jesus and Lao Tzu write about the folly of struggling with the details at the expense of the big picture, of not being able to see the forest for the trees.

Jesus warns us that too much attention to the details of our plans (overanalysis) can make us lose sight of why what we're doing matters. We are all called by God to some vocation. What do we say to God: yes or no? Do we cling to what we want for our life--and lose it--or do we let go of what we want and reach out to God's embrace--and find it?

Lao Tzu's "non-action" is often interpreted here as inaction, but that's not entirely correct. Instead, "non-action" is action that flows from the Tao rather than from the personal will. The personal will is flawed, only the Tao is perfect.

See any similarity? Here you see--and I rediscover--a piece of my theology.

God has given us the gift of free will. Yes, God wants our love, but it's not love unless we give it freely. If we don't want to love someone, then we don't love that someone.

But it's a dangerous gift that God has given us. Armed with this seemingly insignificant portion of God's power, we (humanity) has done immense harm to the world and to ourselves. It all began with one human placing personal will above God's will--the original sin of eating the forbidden fruit. It grew into a darkness in the human psyche--so dark that humanity could scarcely see God's will, let alone follow it.

Finally, Jesus came as the light of the world, saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life." (NRSV, John 8:12) But we have to make a choice: Do we follow Jesus or not? Do we try to save what we want, or do we lose our life for Jesus' sake?

Coming back to my own search, I have to remind myself of this from time to time. And I've been reminded of it by others as well. I have the same weakness as the rest of humanity--imagine that! I want to do what I want, when I want, and how I want. But--to put it bluntly--that is the essence of sin. God calls me to do what God wants me to do, in God's own way and on God's timetable. What I'm doing by trying my own way is not only the essence of sin, but it's an exercise in futility. After all, in a contest between me and God, who do you think would win?