Collars (and chains) of our own making -- part 2

Now, I’m at Baltimore-Washington International Airport, waiting for my very-late-night flight out of the country. The tension has worn off, mostly replaced by exhaustion, but I found myself thinking a bit more about my previous post.

“You don’t need a collar to do my work. But you are already bound by a collar of your own making.”

What is a collar? Priests in most of the sacramental traditions (Episcopal, Roman Catholic, Orthodox, perhaps a few others) wear the well-known white collar. The collar is a reminder of servanthood—priests are servants of God. Now, we’re all servants of God (to various degrees, of course), but priests have been set apart and marked differently. The collar is a mark of the priest’s commitment and servitude to God.

Now, what does it mean that one does not need a collar to do God’s work? Again, we are all servants of God, but we all have different works to complete in this world. Many are called to do God’s work. But just as not all of that work requires a priest, not all are called to wear the collar of a priest.

If I haven’t been called to wear the collar of a priest, what have I been called to do? And why have I been called to make deeply personal sacrifices to pursue the priesthood?

As I’ve said, we all have different works to complete in this world. Perhaps the work I’ve been called to do has required me to go through some of the same preparation as would a priest. I do feel a call toward theology (and perhaps preaching as well), but is that a call from God, or is it a call based on my academic and scientific training? Clearly, I have a great deal of exploration to do.

Or is the collar I wear presently made of my own fears and doubts? In my time discerning a call to the priesthood, I’ve learned some significant things about myself, and I’ve had some great experiences, but I’ve suffered for it. What does the future hold? That’s the scary part—but that’s where faith comes in…